


Relapse

by n3verl4nd



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Harry Styles - Freeform, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Teen Angst, Trigger warnings:, Zayn Malik - Freeform, but no they aren't teens in this there's just some flashbacks, by stuff then itll be more interesting if you dont read them, larry stylinson - Freeform, no one commits suicide tho dont worry, one direction - Freeform, talk about suicide, the trigger warnings are next and if you arent bothered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:47:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6083517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n3verl4nd/pseuds/n3verl4nd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in short parts, Relapse tells the story of what happens when Louis comes back to town after having moved away many years ago, too many years. They used to be inseparable, they knew each other like they knew themselves, but this time Harry has a secret, one that changes everything. The years spent apart they had to try to forget the past, forget what once was, but when they're reunited it's inevitable that it would all be brought back to the surface. Harry isn't who he used to be anymore, and he's trying to keep his secret a secret, but it's never that easy. They fight themselves the best they can, but they can't help but want to relapse. See tags for trigger warnings (it could spoil it a bit though, just so you know).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relapse

**_relapse [verb ri-laps] : to fall or slip back into a former state, practice, etc._ **

 

1

Harry slowly reached to open the drawer, running a slender finger along the box. Before he had a chance to grab it his phone began to ring, with a sigh, he looked at the caller. His eyebrows drew together, it had no name but it was a number he recognized, a number he knew by heart, a number he tried to forget so many times but it had always stuck, Louis' number. He seemed frozen, it had taken so long to move on past Louis, it had taken so much strength that he ended up losing.

Suddenly he realized if he stood there dumbstruck he'd miss the call, he quickly accepted it, but remained silent on his end of the line, "Hello?" Louis spoke after a few seconds, Harry could feel that horrible feeling crawling back, "Harry?" he sounded sad this time.

"Hi," Harry breathed, barely a whisper.

"It's good to hear from you Harry," this conversation consisted of too many silent pauses.

Neither of them knew what to say, "Yeah, you too," they both knew it was a lie, Louis was the last person he expected to call and the last person he wanted to. It had been years since they talked last.

"Did I, uh, did I catch you at a bad time?" your timing couldn't be worse Harry thought to himself, poor timing in his day and his life.

"I was just--" Harry sighed, "It's fine," he scrubbed his hands down his face, "Louis why are you calling me?" he didn't let his hand fall from his face, he had tried so hard to hold himself together for so long, but after awhile nothing worked anymore, that's when he ran into Zayn, just when he thought it was over.

"I'm moving back, I thought maybe," Harry knew what he was going to say, and the part that hurt the most is that he couldn't say no, for so many reasons, "maybe we could meet up sometime, ya know, catch up?" Harry thought about it, his instinct was to say no, to hang up right then and just go back to how he was living his life, but he knew he couldn't, he couldn't risk hurting Louis' feelings, he couldn't resist getting to see him again. He knew this was about flip his world upside down. Things were about to change.

Harry gritted his teeth, "Of course, I don't see why not." He knew he took it too far, they both knew there was plenty of very good reasons, Harry could just imagine the look on his face, but for once he didn't want to take the words back, for once Harry was strong enough to be mad, even if was only a sarcastic remark.

"Okay," Louis whispered. Harry hung up the phone, throwing it on his bed. He took out the box, sitting down and opening it up. He pinched the bag and what was left of the heroin.

He muttered as he grabbed his tubing, "Fuck you Louis."

2

Harry let the ignition die, he sighed, sitting for a moment in his hunk of crap. He wasn't ready, he didn't think he'd ever be but he had to face reality. Louis had called him earlier that day, they made plans to meet up at a new coffee shop that had just opened up. Harry didn't want to make a mangled appearance to Mr. Life-Together-Louis. He didn't want to show all the damage from how fast and far he let himself go downhill. The worst that could happen is they go back to how they were, not speaking and distant. _No,_ Harry thought to himself, _the worst that could go wrong is that we go back to how we were, before not speaking and distant._ Harry shook his head but before he would let himself think any deeper he forced himself out of his car. He kept his eyes on the ground, knowing he looked different from before, knowing he was a mess. He didn't want to witness Louis' reaction.

"H-Harry?" _too late_ , Harry glanced up, Louis looked shocked to say the least, but he quickly let his face fall back to neutral, not wanting to embarrass Harry. Louis looked healthy, he practically glowed.

"Hi," he sat himself down at the table, avoiding further eye contact.

"How are you?"

"I'm alright, how about yourself?" it was an obvious lie, Harry was far from alright, but it was the polite thing to say, Harry was always good at being polite, Louis hated it.

"I'm good, glad to be back in town, great seeing my sisters, missed them," Harry gave him half-hearted smile, finally looking him in the eye, instantly regretting it, "What've you been up to? It's um, it's been awhile," Harry hates it when Louis' shy, he wasn't meant to be shy. He wasn't meant to come back either.

"Yeah no shit Louis, it's been more than a fucking while, I don't get why you're doing this."

Louis was hurt, Harry could tell, "You know what, I don't either," he sat up from his chair, "I don't know what I was hoping I'd get out if this, you clearly don't want anything to do with me and you've really changed Harry, you're a fucking prick," he stormed off. Harry's face softened, he remembered the days when he was nothing but gentle towards him, this isn't what Louis would've expected, but he was gone for so long it shouldn't have been a surprise either. Some people turn bitter, Harry was one of them.

He didn't want that though, he couldn't stand to see Louis come and go like that, "Louis wait," he placed a hand on his arm, he turned around, angry but clearly teary-eyed, "I'm sorry," Harry spoke softly, clearing his throat before he spoke up, "But it's not easy, okay? You can't just show up like that and expect it to be smooth sailing from there, you can't," Harry sighed, pausing before he softly spoke, "You can't pretend nothing happened."

3

Like Harry said, it couldn't just be smooth sailing from then on but it went surprisingly well, Harry's honesty broke a lot of the tension that was tearing at the two. They mostly chatted about Louis' family, his sisters were doing well, everyone was, Louis included. Harry felt himself in an uncomfortable position, he considered that he wasn't lying, just assuming, that when Louis asked about Gemma it was a fair answer to say 'She's good,' and leave it at that. In truth though, Harry had no idea how Gemma was, he hadn't seen her in a little over a year. She loved him back then, she still might, but she was the first one to stop taking shit from him, she tried to help Harry, she really did, but he wouldn't have it, he couldn't. After a while Gemma couldn't handle it anymore and left Harry's life. She was the first of his family, but Louis was the first to start all this, Louis was the first domino. He hated Louis for it but he hated himself too, he knew they were both to blame.

Harry noticed that Louis kept making quick glances at Harry's appearance, it hurt. Harry knew he looked scraggly, he knew he was probably a shock, he knew he should've shaved that morning, he knew he had lost some weight, he knew there were sunken circles beneath his eyes, he knew he looked nothing like he did before. Louis was itching to know every detail, every secret of his new life and Harry was itching for the sweet release waiting for him at home, if you could even call it a home. What he had before was a home, his new flat was tiny, cold and mostly lonely. He'd never been in a room that felt that empty, a bed that sat so desolate.

"That's great to hear Louis, I'm really happy for you," Harry smiled a real smile for once, it had been awhile, it really brought light to Harry's life to see Louis was where he's wanted to be for so long, "So why're you moving back here then? Is it just a holiday?"

Louis sighed, "Just needed an escape for awhile, they're doing a remodel on the building soon, we're all being transferred in hopes we'll stay with the company, they can't just fire all of us. They let me choose a location and there's one not far from here so I thought I'd come back," he shrugged, sipping his coffee.

Harry slowly nodded, "How long is the remodel going to take?"

"They're expecting about a year."

"Wow," Harry wasn't sure what to say, Louis would be living within city limits of him for a year. Harry knew there'd be trouble, he could practically feel it brewing with the coffee, ready to be poured into Harry, delicious but scalding.

"I found a place east of here, a cute condo."

Harry held back a smile, biting his lip, that made Louis blush, "Please tell me it's just East of here and not in the actual fucking East side of town."

Louis laughed before he covered his face, "It is," they used to make fun of everyone and everything living in the East side of town. It's where the stuck up housewives, yapping dogs, sleazy cheating husbands and the rest of the rich people lived. Louis' condo was right on the edge of it.

"Louis," Harry groaned, "Why?" he laughed too, "Why? Why? Why?"

"I'm sorry," they grinned, "It's really nice though, it fits my life well," Louis hesitated, "You should come check it out some time."

Harry's smile faded, it brought him back to reality, the weight of the situation, why they hadn't seen each other in so long, "Yeah, okay," they both sat there in silence for a few moments, for once Harry felt like he used to, before the drugs, before the chaos, when his friendship with Louis was thriving, but that was gone now, "I should go," Harry needed a fix, "I've got things to do."

"Oh, of course, no problem, see ya around?"

"Yeah, see ya around," Harry flashed him one last weak smile before he disappeared, a box in a drawer waiting for him.

4

Harry took a drag, handing the joint back to Zayn, "Thanks, I owe ya."

"Yeah you owe me a lot," Zayn chuckled.

It was a frequent occurrence for Zayn to smoke Harry out, "You know I'm broke, I've got better things to do."

"No worries mate," Zayn was rich, he used to be your average dealer on the street, but he worked his way up, with the big guys, the scary ones. Zayn didn't scare Harry, they were friends, Zayn scared other people, that was part of the job. He had to be mean, tough but charming. He had the looks, he had the wit, he had the reputation, he had the grit, he was good at what he did. Harry didn't like seeing him do businesses, he felt like he was watching a whole different person.

He remembered when he was much younger and he walked in on Louis smoking with his friends. When he walked up to Louis' house that day he could hear laughter coming from inside but no one answered the door when he knocked. The door was unlocked so he let himself in, Louis' family all liked him, they wouldn't mind.

_"Hello?" he called out. No one answered. Not Louis, not Anne, not his sisters, no one. Harry followed the voices to Louis' room. It was a rare occurrence that he had the whole house to himself. Harry knocked on the door before he heard what was obviously panic, various remarks of 'oh shit' and 'hurry' were made, along with some chuckles._

_"I got this, I got this, " a low voice mumbled from the other side. Harry's eyes furrowed, utterly confused. The door opened, "Yeah? Oh, who are you?"_

_"I'm Harry, who are you?" he didn't think he'd seen this person before._

_"I'm Zayn what do you want?" more giggles erupted behind him, Zayn held back a smile._

_Louis called out "Who is it Zaynie?"_

_"Some bloke named Harry," he tried to look past Zayn for Louis but he closed the door more and moved to block Harry's view, even though there was a clear height difference he did a good job of it._

_"Harry!" Louis exclaimed, they both grinned as Zayn moved aside. Louis wrapped his arms around his middle, "Harry I'm so glad to see you, I'm always glad to see you."_

_He grinned, "You smell funny Lou," they all laughed, the both of them blushed, Harry felt very out of place here, there were a few other boys there, he only recognized Scott._

_"Er, yeah," Louis hid a frown. The boys began to unpack what they obviously hid when they heard his knocking._

_"Are you?" Harry's eyes widened as he realized, he knew Louis was acting weird, he bent over and whispered in his ear, "Are you smoking weed?" he didn't notice the rooms silence when he said that, they all laughed, Harry was so embarrassed, and Louis could tell._

_"Um, yeah..." his eyes fluttered around the room, he felt awkward being around people who clearly didn't._

_Louis rested one of his small hands on Harry's chest, he knew it was an apology, "'Ey mate, you wanna try?" Zayn called out, smoke rising from his mouth._

_Honestly Harry didn't but he squeaked out, "Ok."_

_Louis quickly looked up, "No," he shook his head, "It'll ruin your healthy lungs Harry," he mumbled._

_Harry frowned, "What about your lungs?" Louis stared at his feet, "I've actually got somewhere to be," he called back out to Zayn, then turned back, "I better go Louis, but here," he handed him the bag he'd been holding, "We had plans to have lunch across the street, remember? But you can have it," they hadn't had lunch at the park in a long time, Louis knew it._

_He pouted, sticking out his bottom lip, opening the take away, "My favorite," he mumbled sadly._

_"I'll see ya later," Harry poked his bottom lip back in and gave him a weak smile._

_"Hey, food!" one of the boys yelled and they all jumped off the bed and rushed over happily, accidentally pushing Harry out of the way, before Louis got to say goodbye. Louis was sad a lot back then but that day was worse, Harry did come back later that evening, Louis was sorry that he forgot about their plans, that Harry felt embarrassed, that he had to see him like that. Harry knew he was sorry even though he didn't say so, Louis wasn't good at apologizing. Harry's feelings were hurt but he'd be okay, he knew it would make Lou sad so he just hung out with him and held him or cuddled him when he saw fit, showing Louis it was okay, that he still cared. He liked the kind of friendship they had, it was different, but it was comfortable, they were always there for each other when they needed someone._

Harry sighed and looked at Zayn, trying to shake the memory of Louis' little apologetic hand on his chest and his caring, _'It'll ruin your healthy lungs Harry_ '. He was all Harry thought about since he'd returned, memories good and bad, sweet and bitter.

"Louis' back in town."

"Yeah?" Zayn waited for Harry to continue.

He paused, "Yeah we met for coffee yesterday."

Zayn stood up, he knew Harry couldn't resist, "He left mate, he doesn't deserve to get you back so easily."

Harry whispered, "I know," and they left it at that.


End file.
